My 2022 Self-Discovery Series: Journal No. 3

The journal topic for this post is, “What is My Dream Life?”

My dream life would be one with Enzo. Since I had Enzo, eight years ago, so much of my life has changed from where I thought I would be. Granted, I know I wouldn’t be where I am or have what I have if I hadn’t been robbed of a life with Enzo, but I would give it all up if it means I get to have my son with me and watch him grow up.

Being an angel mommy has been incredibly hard for me. Watching my friends give birth to their kids and getting the chance to watch them grow up has been extremely painful to see. Don’t get me wrong, I love them to death, but knowing they got to have those moments but I didn’t hurts. Even my ex, whom I still am very close to, is getting his chance to watch his son grow up before his eyes…and I don’t get to, because Enzo was apparently not meant for a life on earth.

It’s a constant struggle for me to live a life without my son, especially watching others get their chances. But if I could have a dream life where my son is with me, I would take it in a heartbeat.